I will fly.
In sickness and in health.
In good moods and bad.
When I’m up and when I’m down.
I will fly.
You tell me I can’t do better.
That little voice in my head.
It says you cant soar,
That you will fall.
But through the foul and the great,
I will fly.
I’ll show you,
I’ll fly high.
Tight stomach, constructed breath.
Strengths, weaknesses, any questions. Who are you?
I never say no.
I’m a people pleaser.
I work too hard.
I ruin every pair of jeans I own.
I say the wrong thing.
And sometimes I say nothing at all when it’s needed.
I’m needy but confident.
Smart but struggle for words.
And I tear everything apart that I have ever loved.
Does that sound like something that will work for you?
They say to take care of your heart, to hide it away especially if you have felt the sting of it before.
They say that you should remove your soul, to not show people your vulnerability, to not waste time with hobbies and to hustle for the material things that you want in life.
But they forget
They forget how good it feels when you open up your heart. When you steal a kiss, a hug, a dream.
They forget to get lost in your art can let you breathe, let you feel, let you love.
So don’t listen to those that harden themselves. They are scared and they can’t remember what it’s like to have a smile on their face. A smile that shows the world that you have love, and you have soul. Something that you should never lose.
So be careful with your heart yes. But never feel afraid to show the world what you love.
I know right now you’re probably lying on your bed wondering how to get the boy to join you, stop.
I know that as the nights and weeks progress you will fall deeper into that abyss and pull away from any of the connection you crave, don’t.
As you lay there I guarantee there are others that don’t even know what they are missing out on. I promise there is a lot more out there for you, even if you can’t quite justify it yet.
You know where this is heading you just need to take the leap.
I know right now as you lay there you are struggling to express your hardships. you feel like a buoy floating in the despair of the unknown. Wait.
You don’t have the answers, maybe you never will, but it will sort itself out and you will find people to support you.
I dare you to break the ties that you know are holding you down so that you can form new ones that will satisfy you to no end.
I know you are lying there wondering why the contact you do get isn’t satiating you. Why it doesn’t feel right and if it will always be like that. It won’t.
You will have more bad experiences to come but eventually you will realise friendship and nights of whispered connections are key.
A whole new world is waiting for you and you can’t even imagine.
I know you think you don’t have it in you. That spending a day with a pad and a pen is useless. It isn’t.
You will find projects that you love and work that allows you the freedom that you crave.
This world will open up and this world will come alive.
I know right now, in that bed, you feel like if you could get his attention everything will be okay. But dont wait around for it. It will take you awhile but eventually you will realise how much you can still have when you let it all go.
Wait for it, I promise you are going to love it.
He wrapped his arms around me and lifted me off my feet in a hug. A small part of my brain hoped it was platonic, that he really did like Aria and that was it. But honestly I knew it was impossible, I had never felt this much adoration in a hug since my dad would spin me around as a child. I guess the father syndrome has some truth to it, because as he dropped me down enough to see his smile I couldn’t help but beam back.
How was it that guys always catch me?
That they always make me feel valued enough that I believe it could work.
But I could see the glint in his eye that told me he had never been to the places that I had. And I couldn’t touch that innocence.
My heart was too wild and erratic, and his would anchor onto mine and hold on until it shattered into pieces.
So how to tell a man such a thing when he does not speak the same language as you? When he can spit rhymes and rhythms and you can barely keep up with the poems of your heart.
How do you bear yourself when the likelihood is to break another’s before it even had a chance.
How to look into ones eyes and tell them that you are not worth it?
Before it can all happen to you.