What The Hell Is Asexuality Anyway?

Between Miley Cyrus and Kaitlyn Jenner it has never been a better time to be open about your sexuality. But what if you aren’t sexually attracted to other people at all? What if you can only have sex with an emotional connection or are completely turned off the idea altogether? Well you may just be asexual.

 

So what is is?
According to the professionals, specifically sex therapist and relationship expert Desiree Spieling, asexuality is “a lack of sexual attraction to anyone, or low or absent interest in sexual activity.” So while homosexuals are sexually attracted to the same sex, heterosexuals to the opposite and bisexuals to both, asexuals aren’t attracted to anyone.

Basically it’s like everyone is fighting over which flavour of ice cream is best while asexuals are standing there shaking their heads and wondering what the big deal is.

Can you imagine how awkward that would be!

Jen Grey, does, “I have a couple of friends that are really open about their relationships to the point where they’re talking about various positions” she says. “And not only can I not join in, but I’ve got no interest in it and it just gets awkward.”

Jen Grey, does, “I have a couple of friends that are really open about their relationships to the point where they’re talking about various positions” she says. “And not only can I not join in, but I’ve got no interest in it and it just gets awkward.”

 

So asexuals don’t have sex then?
Not necessarily, there are also demi-sexuals who only experience sexual attraction if they feel an emotional connection to someone. Or grey-asexuals, who might experience sexual attraction only rarely, or sit somewhere in between asexual and sexual.

And even asexuals may be in a relationship where both parties compromise.

But with all things it is important to remember that asexuality, and demi-sexuality, are just labels and it is really just more of a scale where you may fall anywhere depending on your level of sexual attraction to others, your sex drive or your interest in sexy times.

Why don’t I know about it?
You’ve probably been sucked down a Facebook wormhole and have completely missed the tiny asexual subculture. Asexuals currently make up approximately 1% of the population (although this is just research and the number is probably higher than this) so it can be a very easy thing to do.

Aside from that there is still a huge stigma behind the term that keeps asexuals quiet on the issue. A lot of people, Jen included, are told that it is just a phase they are going through, that their desires will kick in later or that it is a trauma that can be fixed.

So what’s the problem?
I think we all know how terrible it would be to be called cold, emotionless, frigid or prudish just because you don’t like ice cream (even though we all know how delicious it can be). But that’s not even the worst part guys!

Mindy, a 28 year old asexual from Sydney, has described how aces (learning new lingo here) are often alienated from friends and family and seen as weird because sex is ‘what makes us human’.

That’s terrible! So how can we fix it?
With all things learning more about the issue and changing your perception on what is normal can help gain recognition and stop the stereotypes. As Desiree explains: “…when it comes to asexuality and trying to ‘fix’ it, this is ridiculous. It is an IDENTITY not a DISORDER!! These are very different.”

So am I asexual?
If you are feeling a low libido this isn’t necessarily asexuality, it could be a myriad of this, including a hormone imbalance.

But not being sexually attracted to anyone is a completely different story all together. And if you are constantly stumped when friends ask who your crushing on then you may just be asexual and there is nothing wrong with that!

As Mindy claims, “Everyone’s always so worried that they’re not normal that they forget that human beings are incredibly diverse.”

For more information on the issue visit http://asexualawarenessweek.com/

Published at http://www.buzzfeed.com/coraleekelly/what-the-hell-is-asexuality-anyway-1mdcb 

The Pros and Cons of your first ‘real’ job

Other than figuring out how to cook something that’s not microwavable, getting your first real job can often be the beginning of your life as a full-blown adult.

Whether it’s to simply pay the bills, or a foot in the door into an industry you love, a real life 9-5 gig definitely comes with more up and downs than a 5 year old on a sugar high.

Here are just a few…

CON: GOODBYE FREE TIME

Pretty soon you’ll realise that a weekend is nowhere near long enough to do all the things you didn’t have time to do throughout the working week, let alone keep an active social life. Plus, of course there’s your Netflix downtime to catch up on. Duh! Soon you’ll see how fast a Friday evening can transform into a Sunday night, and before you know it, you’re reaching for the snooze button early on a Monday morning.

PRO: MAKE IT RAIN

Yes you’ll have less time, but the good news is you’ll have more money. One of the best feelings in life is opening your first paycheck and realising you may just have play money at the end of the month. Now you can finally fund your own haircuts, nights out and shopping addiction.

CON: GOODBYE SPONTANEITY

You wake up, exercise, go to work, eat, sleep and repeat. There’s no surprise that this can get sour quickly.

PRO: HELLO PIECE OF MIND

Sure doing the same thing almost every day can become dull, but there’s a satisfying calmness that comes with that. You’ll be amazed how much clarity you will find when you have a clear-cut routine every week.

CON: GOODBYE USUAL CLIQUE

The hardest thing about starting your first real job can often be the daunting phase of being labeled as ‘the new girl/guy’. No more hanging with your usual clique on the daily, you’re about to spend a lot of time with scary new strangers.

PRO: HELLO WORK FRIENDS

But in the end, those scary strangers can perhaps turn into the greatest thing that comes out of your job. You may form great friendships, someone to have lunch dates with and vent to over secret emails during a particularly crappy working day. Need I say more?

CON: GOODBYE COMFORT ZONE

Prepare for everything to be scary at first. Scary colleagues, scary boss and scary meetings. Sayonara comfort zone!

PRO: HELLO PATS ON THE BACK

But don’t worry, they say great things never came from comfort zones anyways. So soak up all the new skills you’re learning a remember to give yourself a pat on the back from time to time. Heck, your boss just might do that for you.

WHAT ARE SOME PROS AND CONS YOU’VE EXPERIENCED FROM YOUR FIRST REAL JOB?

Published on Love & List / August 9, 2015

Delaware Space Beer

Delaware Space BeerJust when you thought Oktoberfest couldn’t get any better than a long weekend booze marathon and foreign beer, NASA finds a way to top it.

Not one to be outdone by normal German beer, the company behind NASA’s Apollo spacesuits and a Delaware brewerry have added moon dust to their beer. They’ve given it the appropriately galactic name of ‘Celeste-jewel-ale’, and you can buy it (on tap) at the Dogfish Head Brewings and Eats restaurant.

What does space beer taste like? It’s creators have described it as having “notes of doughy malt, toasted bread, subtle caramel and a light herbal bitterness”.

Dogfish Head enlisted the help of contractors ILC Dover, the guys behind the lunar spacesuits worn by the Apollo astronauts on the moon. They were able to track down the lunar meteorites for the beer as well as provide space-age beer coolers, or koozies. We’re a little impressed.

Unfortunately, as meteorites don’t come around every day, this beer is limited time only. “ILC is making sure this is the best-protected beer on the planet with koozies made from the same material as their spacesuits,” the restaurant wrote on its website.

The koozies are protected against fire damage, friction and tearing, and are insulated to keep the beer at a comfortable temperature.

Wipe your drool and start planning your trip to Delaware. It’s limited time only, and let’s face it, it’s space beer. What wouldn’t you do to try it out?

Published on Urban Society / 08 October, 2013

Walk on Water at Lake Baikal

Baikal.adventure.walk_.on_.water_Hey there, you big nomad.

What if we were to tell you there’s a frozen lake the size of Belgium that would take you four days to walk across?

Fascinating enough to quench that wanderlust?

This is something to go on every thrill-seeker/Insta-bragger’s bucket list. If the frozen lake isn’t quite enough to pull you across the line, theres the ancient Buddhist communities (“I really connected with the locals, man.”) and adrenaline filled dogsled rides.

But first you’ll have to experience it all.
In Siberia.

Yes, Siberia. Don’t let it’s chills-inducing name put you off – where else except in sub-zero temperatures can you walk across a picturesque frozen lake?. It’s one of the oldest, deepest and largest lakes in the world, not to mention one of the most beautiful. Nothing like the freezing crisp mountain air to make you feel aliiiiiive.

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Included as part of the UNESCO World Heritage List, Lake Baikal features 120ft of clear, fresh water. In warmer months you can grab a wooden boat and take in the beauty above and below you, but we suggest planning for colder weather.

In winter months (February to April) the lake freezes over and transforms into a wonderland the size of Belgium. Here is when the magic happens and you can walk, or take a dogsled, on water.

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Also on the check list when you inevitable head Siberian way: check out the history of nearby Russia, take a Russian cooking class, go on a jeep expedition, explore crystal caves, see the holy Buddhist stupa, meet the indigenous people of Russia and go ice rafting.

Or, for those less-inclined to do such pedestrian activities like actually planning a trip, book a tour and leave it up to those other suckers. 56th Parallel has tours starting from $4950, so you better start pinching those pennies.

[Image Source]


Published on Urban Society / 19 November, 2013

Too ugly to eat at the front of the restaurant?

Night.Time_.Outdoor.Cafe_.Paris_You wait two weeks to get a reservation at the best new restaurant.

You wear your best clothes and prepare your wallet for the best food.

And finally you arrive, and what happens? You’re placed out the back, somewhere between the shouting chef and the constantly swinging door of the toilet.

The place isn’t even that busy, so what’s with that?

Well, sorry to break it to you but you just may not be attractive enough.

Reports from former waitresses at major restaurants in Paris prove that they were told to put the best-looking customers at the front and move the less attractive further along, out of sight, to create a view of an ugly-free Paris.

Le George, an upmarket restaurant on top floor of the Pompidou Centre, and Café Marly, which overlooks the Louvre, are both landmark Parisian eateries and have been accused of being biased snobs.

The waitresses say they were getting in trouble for not following this policy, with the owners and managers asking: “What are these ugly mugs doing at this table? Everyone can see them when they come in. It’s very bad for our image.” (Let’s just take a step back here and remember that this is the city with a dedicated cat cafe).

The only ones exempt seem to be celebrities, who get to enjoy the Parisian view without having to worry too much about having a face like an angel. (All’s well for Gérard Depardieu, then.)

Even the hostesses don’t have it easy, with the criteria for a job at either restaurant stating anyone “without a model’s physique and over 30 need not apply”. They were also told off for not showing their boobs and wearing long skirts.

And don’t even think about bribing the staff, with the boss of Le George, Gilbert Costes, visiting his restaurant periodically to “harp on about the house principles of which he is very proud, as he invented them” as one of the former waitresses told The Telegraph.

Looks like you may need to find a new favourite restaurant, or plastic surgeon.

(Image Source)

Published on Urban Society / 12 November, 2013

Most promiscuous mechaphile in the world

carloverIf you thought you loved your car just because you wash it more than once a month you have nothing on this guy.

Edward Smith is a 62-year-old car lover from Yelm, Washington who claims he has had sex with 1,000 cars. This makes him the most promiscuous mechaphile in the world. Probably not something to write home about.

Mechapiles are people who love cars a little bit too much, or feel an insatiable sexual attraction to cars. Smith claims he has never felt sexually attracted to women, not even consummating his relationship to his only girlfriend, 12 years ago.

Smith’s attraction started with his neighbour’s Volkswagen Beetle, which he lost his virginity to, and since then he’s taken numerous cars for a ‘test drive’. “Some guys look at boobs and bums on beautiful women. I look at the front and rear on beautiful cars,” he said.

“There have been certain cars that attracted me and I would wait until night time, creep up to them and just hug and kiss them,” he confesses. But you no longer have to worry about discovering your car being humped by a stranger as your wander home after that binger of a Friday night, as Smith is now in an ‘open relationship’ with a second-hand Volkswagen Beetle named Vanilla, an 1973 Opel GT called Cinnamon AND a 1193 Ford Ranger named Splash.

If these cars are jealous of one another, they don’t seem to be honking their horns in frustration.

“I will not deny that I look at other cars on TV or at shows and still get those old impulses and desires – but those were the early days,” he says. He’s admitted that, of all three of his ‘lovers’, his heart belongs to the Beetle. “Now I want to settle down with Vanilla. There’s something about her that I can’t fully express on an emotional level except it’s very powerful and very sincere.”

Guess that just leaves more humans for us to enjoy.
Published on Urban Society / 15 October, 2013

Pokemon Cocktails

PokemoncocktailsSick of all the old drinking games, where you don’t understand the rules because you have too many weaknesses (the inability to say “no, thanks”) and not enough power-ups (second wind-anyone?)

By the time you figure things out, you’re downing a toxic mixture of every kind of alcohol imaginable and wondering how you managed to lose the round. (Wish you had dealt your Jolteon instead of your Pikachu now, don’t you?)

Now you can introduce your friends to a new deck of fun: Pokémon Cocktails. Forget Vodka Sunrises and Martinis, these drinks are way more delicious and ambitious. And you don’t even need to track down any bars like we did for our cocktail challenge – just an open alcohol store and you’re set to booze yourself away for the rest of the night.

The nine frozen cocktails are the invention of Tumblr user and Pokémon fan, meowpurrnom, and are of the ‘Eeveelution’ variety, with every one representing every known evolution of Eevee including the newest edition: Sylveon.

The mixes include:

Eevee: Cake vodka, Kahlua, Bailey’s, a chocolate éclair ice cream bar and chocolate syrup

Vaporeon: Rum, Malibu, blue Curacao, pineapple juice and Sprite

Jolteon: Tequila, Red Bull, margarita mix, lemon juice, Sprite and salt on the rim

Flareon: Fireball whiskey, peach Schnapps, iced tea, lemonade and dash of strawberry syrup

Espeon: Strawberry Vodka, Hpnotiq Harmonie, Chambord, cranberry juice and Sprite

Umbreon: Bourbon, Coke, lemon juice and orange juice

Glaceon: Rum, Blue Curacao, peppermint schnapps, lemonade, soda water and sugar on the rim

Leafeon: Tequila, peach Schnapps, lime juice, ginger ale, mint, honey and a drop of chocolate syrup for decoration

Sylveon: Cake Vodka, strawberry vodka, Bailey’s, a strawberry shortcake ice cream bar, cream and strawberry syrup

The measurements are left to you, and let’s face it, that’s the fun bit. If you’re feeling adventurous, you can even take out the Pokedex and have a Pokemon showdown while mixing and drinking. Eeveelutionary thinking? We think so.

Just make sure to keep your kids away from this one; we have a feeling they might not appreciate it as much as you.

Published on Urban Society / 15 October, 2013

Melbourne Remote Control Tourists

Melbourne4Ever wanted to control another human being?

Make them try those dumplings that look a little risky?

Or check out all the best dark alleys in Melbourne? (Okay, maybe that one’s a little mean. These are living, breathing humans after all!)

Well prepare for all your dreams to come true. Tomorrow, Play Melbourne will introduce two remote control tourists who will be traveling around Melbourne, completely in your control!

One lucky guy and girl will be at your disposal from tomorrow, October 9th, until Sunday, October 13th. Through the Play Melbourne Twitter and Facebook page, viewers will be able to tell the tourists what to do, and then watch it all live-streamed.

You can tell them to try all those restaurants you’ve been meaning to visit, and then perhaps a stroll through the art galleries. You can feel all cultured while sitting at your desk munching on watermelon whole fruit popsicles.

Let them make all the mistakes before you even set foot in Melbourne, leaving you to enjoy the finer things.

Watch the Youtube video to get you prepared.

Live-streaming
9th Ocotober: 10am – 8pm
10th October: 12pm – 8pm
11th October: 12pm – 8pm
12th October: 12pm – 8pm
13th October: 12pm – 8pm

Website

Published on Urban Society / 08 October, 2013

Argentina Ghost Town new tourist attraction

Underwater2Would you believe that this place was a bustling tourist town just thirty years ago?

It’s called Villa Epecuen, and lies just south of Buenos Aires in Argentina.

In 1985 the town experienced a particularly heavy rainstorm, followed by several wet winters. A dam finally bursting on the 10th of November, 1985, submerging the town in water. People waited on their roofs for two days for the water to recede, something that didn’t occur until 2009.
Underwater1

Established in the 1920s, the town used to be a thriving spa resort. Now it features dead trees and signs pointing to nowhere. Remnants of tourists can also be found among the rubble, including coke bottles, plates and glasses. The most unnerving feature is the trees, which still stand in neat rows.

In a twist of fate, the Argentinian town is a tourist attraction once again, but this time as a ghost town, attracting visitors who come to gape at the ruins.

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Villa Epecuen was home to 5,000 residents and thousands of tourists. Now only one man lives here: Pablo Novak. The 83-year-old, who has lived in the town since his youth, never left. He was the only one to return when the town drowned, living there ever since in a stone hut with a fridge and a basic cooker.

“Whoever passes nearby cannot go without coming to visit here,” Novak said to The Associated Press. “It’s getting more people to the area, as they come to see the ruins.”

Many of the other residents fled to nearby Carhue, building new hotels and spas.

Published on Urban Society / 04 October, 2013

The Bondi Hipsters have their own series on ABC2

Screen.Shot_.2013.09.17.at_.3.09.09.PM_It wasn’t enough to promote online fashion site The Iconic earlier this year. Now The Bondi Hipsters have their own series on ABC2.

It seems The Bondi Hipsters – Christaan Van Vuuran and Nick Boshier – have officially sold out, and props to them.

But you’ll quickly forget that idea when you see the first trailer for the show. Titled “ABC2 Can Suck My Dick” the boys make it clear that they aren’t like the other “sell-out barns”. Of course, there was a lot more naughty language involved.

ABC2 has also put together series on The Bedroom Philosopher and Axis of Awesome in a bid to show that they aren’t ‘just a kids’ channel’ – they’re hip and ironic, too! Well, we kind of knew that when Ja’mie King hit the scene, but now their Gen Y anti-hero home status is firmly cemented. Practise your ‘yah’s everyone…

The station’s controller Stuart Menzies told Mumbrella that the artists were given the freedom to choose how they would promote the channel.

“We have all the problems of being a small voice in a crowded marketplace and there’s no point hiding that that… doing it in the voices of the people we’re including and letting them loose is actually just fun. If you try to interfere in that process, edit or manipulate it you would actually destroy it.” Menzies says.

Watch how The Bondi Hipsters chose to promote the channel below. In the words of the boys themselves: “Watch it if you want to, or don’t if you don’t.”

Published on Urban Society / 17 September, 2013