The Life of Us

Letters and drawings and poems.
The story of us builds up, surrounding.

There is no fairy-tale. No princes, no queens.
Instead there are fights, leaving us feeling unseen.

But in the end there will be you and us
Only our hearts pounding.

Mixing Markers

Coffee shops for creativity.
Home for relaxing.
Work for productivity.

We set up these markers.
But what happens when we mix them?

Finding something that makes your heart skip at work.
Or relaxing in a coffee shop.
Watching the people and ideas pass instead of trying to capture one.

Something amazing.
That’s what happens.
And often that’s all you need.

The Weariness of it All

Some days my body aches and my eyes drowse and I want to do nothing more than to lay all day and do nothing.

Because I get tired. I get tired of having to live up to expectations, that I will do something with my life. That I will achieve great things, because that is how you measure greatness.

You are supposed to get up and be a fighter. To not be lazy and to get out there and struggle because money makes the world whatever.

But while you’re out there, fighting your heart out, don’t forget to be happy. And to try and make a difference. And to have goals. And to nurture the relationships that make you part of human nature.

Dont forget to care about how you look, or what you can achieve or how everyone else feels about your presence.

But what if I don’t care about all of that, about any of that. What if right now I am just trying to focus on being a better person and on making the relationships that matter to me work.

Can I just do that for a little bit? Even if it means laying here for a couple more hours until I get the strength.

Everyone tells you how hard life is, but they don’t tell you that sometimes the hardest part is just getting up.

And They Say

They say to take care of your heart, to hide it away especially if you have felt the sting of it before.

They say that you should remove your soul, to not show people your vulnerability, to not waste time with hobbies and to hustle for the material things that you want in life.

But they forget

They forget how good it feels when you open up your heart. When you steal a kiss, a hug, a dream.

They forget to get lost in your art can let you breathe, let you feel, let you love.

So don’t listen to those that harden themselves. They are scared and they can’t remember what it’s like to have a smile on their face. A smile that shows the world that you have love, and you have soul. Something that you should never lose.

So be careful with your heart yes. But never feel afraid to show the world what you love.

The Truth of the Matter

“Truth or dare?”

It comes out as barely a whisper, his voice hoarse as the night catches up with him.

Our legs tangle together as we sit across from each other. His more than overlapping mine.

I smile slightly as I look into his face. I know what he wants before I even see his eyes lower to my lips and his tongue dart out. I can feel the familiar hammer of my heart and prickle of my skin and I know I need to prolong the inevitable before it swallows us both up.

“Truth”

I see the disappointment across his face and watch his forehead burrow as he deliberates his response. The cogs in his brain turn and I want nothing more than to reach in there and switch them all around. So that he will see me differently, so that he wont notice the stars in my eyes and get sucked in.

Finally a soft smile reminds me of the crevices in his cheeks and all I want to do is collide with him and see if the explosions really will end us.

“Okay,”

His voice cracks and a little piece of me cracks along with it.

“If you had picked dare, what would you want me to ask you to do?”

He stumbles over his words even though I know he rehearsed them first. I think of the thousands of answers I could give him and how he is only hoping for one. How that one could open up a million possibilities and I had the power to unlock them all.

But the thought paralyses me. I can tell I’m taking my time and that he would wait forever for me.

And again I realise I can’t give in to this boy. He deserved a girl who would be right there with him, not one that was already floating away and would take all the pieces of his heart along with her.

I stand up and pull him with me. His hug envelopes me as it has so many times before and I wait for him to pick me up the way he always has. When he doesnt I find my mouth close to his ear.

” I would want you to ask me to jump into the lake,” I whisper.

His laughter rumbles and seems to pour every part of him into me.

“It’s freezing cold!” He tell me.

“Which is why I wouldn’t do it,” I counter before I shrug and head back towards the drinks.

I hear him sigh and start after me. “You’re impossible!” I hear his shout behind me before the music drowns him out.

I feel the urge to look back, but don’t. If only he knew how very impossible it all was.

Body Talk

My relationship with my body is quite a lucky one.

Mostly because I have never been taught to be ashamed of it for aesthetic reasons. Sure there were children when I was younger who would tease my red (or as everyone wants to remind me now ‘more strawberry blonde’) hair and freckles because they weren’t used to something different.

I am thankful that there was always a caring adult in the background to reassure me that when I was grown it would be something to covert. And lo & behold inked on freckles.

Now I never think twice about feeling confident in the way I look. I have no more pimples and know this is something I can control with my sugar intake and good hygiene. My skin is sometimes dry and not silky smooth like it’s apparently supposed to be, but that is tiny in the huge scheme of things so it’s not something I obsess over.

So why do I feel so bad when friends indulge in negative speak about their bodies? Why do I feel so vain and cocky admitting that I don’t really have any hang-ups? Why do I make up small things like my knees and my ankles, which don’t particularly make a difference to me?

Mostly because I can see the confusion in their eyes as they ask themselves why they can’t have a body as good as mine and how I can be so confident in a world that thrives on telling women they aren’t good enough.

And here’s the thing; if I was to sit and scrutinize my body I’m sure I could come up with a list just as exhaustive as theirs but that would not serve anyone, least of all me.

So what’s so wrong about choosing to love my own body and taking compliments as they come?

Listening to Lena Dunham’s podcast on the body this past week she asks every interviewee, “Are you your hair?” And the answer for me is a big fat yes. My hair is probably the thing I’m most proud of. I am proud of the color, I’m proud of the way it looks nice and wavy without me having to do much, I love that it is often the first thing people notice about me and I am constantly worried about losing the vibrancy, even though the logical side of me knows this is inevitable.

So does this make me vain? Probably, I definitely don’t think I would cope very well if it all fell off. And I hope I don’t have to deal with that any time in the future.

But I also don’t think there should be anything wrong with loving a part of yourself that makes you feel confident and in control. The way I see it anyone who makes you feel bad for having too much confidence in the follicles that come out of your scalp needs to re-evaluate why that threatens them. Because everyone should be made to believe they are beautiful because I guarantee you are.

What The Hell Is Asexuality Anyway?

Between Miley Cyrus and Kaitlyn Jenner it has never been a better time to be open about your sexuality. But what if you aren’t sexually attracted to other people at all? What if you can only have sex with an emotional connection or are completely turned off the idea altogether? Well you may just be asexual.

 

So what is is?
According to the professionals, specifically sex therapist and relationship expert Desiree Spieling, asexuality is “a lack of sexual attraction to anyone, or low or absent interest in sexual activity.” So while homosexuals are sexually attracted to the same sex, heterosexuals to the opposite and bisexuals to both, asexuals aren’t attracted to anyone.

Basically it’s like everyone is fighting over which flavour of ice cream is best while asexuals are standing there shaking their heads and wondering what the big deal is.

Can you imagine how awkward that would be!

Jen Grey, does, “I have a couple of friends that are really open about their relationships to the point where they’re talking about various positions” she says. “And not only can I not join in, but I’ve got no interest in it and it just gets awkward.”

Jen Grey, does, “I have a couple of friends that are really open about their relationships to the point where they’re talking about various positions” she says. “And not only can I not join in, but I’ve got no interest in it and it just gets awkward.”

 

So asexuals don’t have sex then?
Not necessarily, there are also demi-sexuals who only experience sexual attraction if they feel an emotional connection to someone. Or grey-asexuals, who might experience sexual attraction only rarely, or sit somewhere in between asexual and sexual.

And even asexuals may be in a relationship where both parties compromise.

But with all things it is important to remember that asexuality, and demi-sexuality, are just labels and it is really just more of a scale where you may fall anywhere depending on your level of sexual attraction to others, your sex drive or your interest in sexy times.

Why don’t I know about it?
You’ve probably been sucked down a Facebook wormhole and have completely missed the tiny asexual subculture. Asexuals currently make up approximately 1% of the population (although this is just research and the number is probably higher than this) so it can be a very easy thing to do.

Aside from that there is still a huge stigma behind the term that keeps asexuals quiet on the issue. A lot of people, Jen included, are told that it is just a phase they are going through, that their desires will kick in later or that it is a trauma that can be fixed.

So what’s the problem?
I think we all know how terrible it would be to be called cold, emotionless, frigid or prudish just because you don’t like ice cream (even though we all know how delicious it can be). But that’s not even the worst part guys!

Mindy, a 28 year old asexual from Sydney, has described how aces (learning new lingo here) are often alienated from friends and family and seen as weird because sex is ‘what makes us human’.

That’s terrible! So how can we fix it?
With all things learning more about the issue and changing your perception on what is normal can help gain recognition and stop the stereotypes. As Desiree explains: “…when it comes to asexuality and trying to ‘fix’ it, this is ridiculous. It is an IDENTITY not a DISORDER!! These are very different.”

So am I asexual?
If you are feeling a low libido this isn’t necessarily asexuality, it could be a myriad of this, including a hormone imbalance.

But not being sexually attracted to anyone is a completely different story all together. And if you are constantly stumped when friends ask who your crushing on then you may just be asexual and there is nothing wrong with that!

As Mindy claims, “Everyone’s always so worried that they’re not normal that they forget that human beings are incredibly diverse.”

For more information on the issue visit http://asexualawarenessweek.com/

Published at http://www.buzzfeed.com/coraleekelly/what-the-hell-is-asexuality-anyway-1mdcb 

Motivate Me

tumblr_lgsnftAP8W1qdibtno1_500I love going back to Uni. I love the excitement, learning new things and most of all my rapidly declining social life. But I know there are some of you out there who don’t, or cant, get excited for a new semester of Uni. For those ‘weird’ ones out there, this is for you. I have personally put together some tips to help you through this time in your life.

Go Shopping

Its scientifically proven, somewhere, that shopping releases endorphins that make you feel much more motivated and happy. Seriously, Google it! What other excuse do you need to head to the shops? You don’t even have to be a stationary nut like me. Clothes, books, even video games that you can convince everyone somehow relates to your Uni degree, they will all help you be ready for the new Uni semester; according to science.

Get organized.

Buy one of those annoying diaries, you know the one that you write everything in and then leave sitting on your desk under a pile of papers for the rest of the year. Even if you only use it that once to write out all your plans for the semester, even if it’s just your new social calendar, it will get you excited for the New Year. I promise. 

Retrain your body.

This is probably the hardest. It involves going to bed at a sensible time and not when the sun is rising. I can hear your groans from here, but you will thank me. Would you rather spend all night up having fun and then struggle through a day of lectures and tutorials or go to bed earlier and be that kid that seems annoyingly happy all day? Actually, don’t answer that.

Actually show up to classes.

Okay, I lied; this may be the hardest tip I’m giving you. Skipping just that one class or lecture might seem tempting. But I’m sure you all know where this leads, down the path of missing the whole unit and pulling an all-nighter on that assignment you have no idea about. Just suck it up and go to the class. Who knows, you might actually enjoy it.

Make friends.

Uni is more fun with friends at your side. Enough said.

Then make time for these friends.

You need this time to unwind, have fun, let loose if you must. As the saying goes, all work and no fun makes Jack a dull boy. Not to mention a very stressed out Uni student.

Find something interesting/fun in every class.

Even if it’s just to tease the teacher. In fact, some of the only things I have picked up at Uni are from mocking teachers. But if anyone asks, this advice did not come from me. If you don’t enjoy the class you are more likely to revert to the skipping class routine we talked about before. Trust me, having fun in class will help you in the long run.

Find at least one class you love.

This is what electives are for! Choose something that wont be such a drag when it comes to assignments. It will also make you more motivated to start Uni if you have something to look forward to. Sure a bunch of boring subjects may look good on your record, but you are more likely to put more effort into something you love, or at least like. And good marks look really good on your record.

So there it is. Go forth and enjoy.

Published on Degree! / 13 March, 2012

The Hard Questions

HARD_QUESTIONSI am indecisive about a lot of things, what to eat for breakfast, what to eat for lunch, what to eat for dinner; you get the idea. But when the big decision time came where I had to pick a career it didn’t take me long to land on Journalism.

Writing being one thing that comes easy to me, and not having the attention span for long ass novel-writing Journalism was the career that jumped out at me.

For a lot of people though, this is not the case. From the little decisions, such as what to wear in the morning, to the life changing ones that leave you feeling queasy some people just hate making a choice. I think I can leave the day-to-day decision to you though and focus on that huge question of what to do with your life.

What are you doing? That is the question many face from those annoying family members who look down at anything less than a uni degree. But being told for half your life that the HSC is the be all and end all, many find themselves not having thought this far into the future. Then when chucked into the wide-world that awaits you after that prison called high school they often feel lost at where to go from here.

You may have no idea whatsoever and decide to take a gap-year to figure it out, and then waste that gap-year travelling or partying and still have no idea. You may have found the course you love and don’t know where to go from there or, like me, you have found what career you want just don’t know the exact role you want to play in it.

Whatever the case there a few ways in which to figure out what life you wish to lead. Often the easiest thing to do is take notice of what you enjoy, think about whether you could get paid for doing it and most importantly could handle doing this full time? Doing your research can also help, start with what you like, or are interested in and research jobs around that area.

Most importantly don’t forget, in the world we live in new jobs are created each day! So don’t stress, pick a course you like and go from there.

Published on Degree! / 19 September, 2011