Sex + Bad Writing = Over-night success

I’ve said it once and you can expect me to say it again. Writing and porn simply cannot co-exist. It seems that as soon as phalluses and the sweet spot are involved the author simply forgets everything they were taught about proper grammar and writing in general. The all important rule of show don’t tell seems void in this genre where visual stimulation is the general point of porn.

Maybe this is because these authors never were actually taught writing skills. The most famous example doesn’t even need mentioning, we all know it involves sex of the kinky kind, a broken and mysterious man and a young women who’s inner goddess needs to learn a new dance.

Yes I’m talking about Fifty Shades of Grey and just in case you don’t know the background of this terrible, amazing book let me educate you. The author, E L James, was just like any tween fan girl, except she wasn’t so tween. She is actually a film producer, and mother of two. Yet just like the million of girls before her she was a fan of Twilight. And just like any fan girl would she started writing fanfiction. You know that amateur writing exercise where you put your favourite characters in sex scenes? Yeah, that one.

Im not criticizing the practice of fanfiction, not at all. I myself have partaken in the fun, and as usual cringed at the bad grammar and excitement of the writers. The thing that has me stumped though is how she went from fanfiction writer to overnight sensation. She has obviously done little research into domination, as it doesn’t involve a contract of any kind, rather is just about open dialogue between the parties. And it reads like a diary entry from a teenager instead of a well-constructed narrative.

I would like to know what the editors were doing when they were supposed to be, you know, editing. It seems the millions of women weren’t the only ones getting excited while reading it. Or maybe they just knew anything vaguely related to Twilight would be an extraordinary success. Either way it seems that all you need to do to get published these days is to have a perfect character for everyone to fall in love with. Because if I’m going to say one nice thing about Fifty Shades it would be that the one character of Christian Grey is well developed, although not entirely realistic.

At least now with a new movie coming out in February you don’t even need to read the book. Just have an awkwardly erotic date on Valentines Day. In case you haven’t seen it yet, the trailer has been added below for your viewing pleasure.

Tags: , , , , , , , , , ,

Posted November 22, 2014 by Coralee Kelly in category "Reviews", "Writing


  1. By siamesemayhem on

    Oddly enough, I’ve read sex scenes in fanfiction that were better than some published novels, but that is rarely the case. I agree, it seems like many writers leave their brain at the bedroom door (though this is by no means true for all of them). I have no idea what causes it.

      1. By siamesemayhem on

        Either that, or they’ve never had sex. Or they feel so unconfident writing sex scenes that they copy everyone else’s (supremely bad) style.

  2. By loan on

    Thanks for your entire labor on this web site. My mother take interest in participating in research and it is simple to grasp why. My spouse and i notice all regarding the powerful tactic you produce useful thoughts via your website and in addition recommend response from the others on this subject then our own princess is truly studying a whole lot. Take pleasure in the rest of the year. You have been performing a terrific job.

  3. By vardenafil price on

    A lot of thanks for all your valuable hard work on this web page. Kate loves getting into investigation and it’s really easy to understand why. I know all of the dynamic medium you make insightful solutions on this web blog and as well as foster participation from people on that idea so our girl is certainly discovering a lot of things. Have fun with the remaining portion of the new year. You are conducting a powerful job.

  4. By pamelor buy on

    I’m just commenting to let you be aware of of the extraordinary discovery my cousin’s daughter enjoyed going through your blog. She discovered lots of issues, most notably how it is like to have a very effective giving heart to have many others effortlessly gain knowledge of certain extremely tough matters. You really did more than my desires. Many thanks for displaying the helpful, healthy, educational and also easy thoughts on the topic to Gloria.

  5. By doxepin no rx on

    I precisely desired to say thanks again. I’m not certain the things I could possibly have achieved in the absence of the basics contributed by you about my area of interest. Completely was a challenging circumstance for me, but being able to view a expert avenue you dealt with it forced me to cry for contentment. Extremely grateful for the advice and believe you are aware of a powerful job that you’re accomplishing educating many people all through a site. I’m certain you’ve never come across all of us.

  6. By Pexehouck on

    community health center rutland vt community america open account , community action agency food bank. positive feedback is most like lyrica without prescription buy pregabalin , community health center riverton wyoming community definition of community positive feedback loop op amp , positive words and definitions community definition for elementary students? community community bible church fair lakes va, positive affirmations while you sleep biology definition of ecological community.
    positive correlation japanese , strategic planning process new zealand positive skew community health center in new britain.

  7. By Bquortar on

    ca office software free download drawing program website to buy autocad lt software pes 2020 for pc. office suite for mac download echolink 2020 software free download engeeeneringu#$sssaunnplus , office software key. software layoffs 2020 india, 2020 design software for mac free 2020 tax preparation software jamb cbt software for pc 2020. software 2020 internship amd radeon software adrenalin 2020 settings, best animation software for pc 2020.

  8. By Blooraksdq on

    quicksteuer 2020 software download drawing program website to buy Autocad software top 10 software for pc 2020. autocad electrical 2020 software software summer 2020 internships ms office software for mac. snagit 2020 software key free engeeeneringu#$sssaunnplus , office management software free download rt809f software download 2020 radeon software adrenalin 2020 edition. 2020 home design software 2020 software cost, 2020 design software for mac.

  9. By takipçi satın al on

    Wow, awesome weblog format! How lengthy have you ever been running
    a blog for? you made running a blog glance easy.
    The whole look of your website is fantastic,
    let alone the content!

  10. By Психологи онлайн on

    Консультация у психологов. Психологи онлайн Профессиональные психологи.
    Онлайн консультация. Цены на услуги и консультации психолога.
    Консультация по Skype. Услуги консультации психолога.
    Психологи онлайн.

  11. By Eddie Arisumi on

    I was wondering if you ever considered changing the structure of your site? Its very well written; I love what youve got to say. But maybe you could a little more in the way of content so people could connect with it better. Youve got an awful lot of text for only having 1 or two images. Maybe you could space it out better?|

  12. By Rebecka Curson on

    I would like to thank you for the efforts you have put in writing this blog. I really hope to see the same high-grade content by you later on as well. In fact, your creative writing abilities has encouraged me to get my own site now ;)|

  13. By takipçi satın al on

    I do not even know how I ended up here, but I thought this post was great.
    I don’t know who you are but certainly you are going to a famous blogger if you aren’t already 😉 Cheers!

  14. By Clotilde Morosow on

    After checking out a number of the blog posts on your web site, I honestly appreciate your way of blogging. I book marked it to my bookmark webpage list and will be checking back soon. Please check out my web site too and tell me what you think.|

  15. By Dominic Barjenbruch on

    Hmm is anyone else having problems with the images on this blog loading? I’m trying to determine if its a problem on my end or if it’s the blog. Any feed-back would be greatly appreciated.|

  16. By Toi Theinert on

    I got this web site from my buddy who told me regarding this web site and now this time I am browsing this web page and reading very informative content at this time.|

  17. By Fredrick Mauseth on

    I like the valuable info you supply for your articles. I will bookmark your blog and check again here regularly. I’m fairly certain I will be informed a lot of new stuff right here! Best of luck for the following!|

  18. By Barbara Jackson on

    I have been browsing online more than 3 hours today, yet I never
    found any interesting article like yours. It’s pretty worth enough for me.
    In my view, if all web owners and bloggers made good content as you did, the internet will be a lot more useful than ever before.

  19. By Michelle Thornton on

    It’s perfect time to make a few plans for the future and it’s time to be happy.
    I have read this publish and if I could I want to counsel you some attention-grabbing
    things or tips. Maybe you can write subsequent articles relating to this
    article. I wish to read even more issues about it!

  20. By idm crack win xp on

    You actually make it appear really easy together with your presentation but I find this matter to be really something that I feel I’d never understand. It sort of feels too complicated and extremely broad for me. I’m taking a look ahead in your next publish, I will attempt to get the grasp of it!|

  21. Pingback: alternative to viagra

  22. By Hassie Sanipasi on

    Hello there! Do you use Twitter? I’d like to follow you if that would be okay. I’m definitely enjoying your blog and look forward to new updates.|

  23. By Johnny Liftin on

    whoah this weblog is magnificent i like studying your articles. Keep up the great work! You understand, many persons are hunting around for this info, you can aid them greatly. |

  24. By Roxann Nanfito on

    Thanks for any other informative site. The place else may just I get that kind of information written in such a perfect approach? I have a project that I am simply now operating on, and I’ve been at the look out for such information.|

  25. By Jack Henion on

    Heya i am for the primary time here. I came across this board and I find It truly helpful & it helped me out a lot. I am hoping to provide something back and help others like you helped me.|

  26. By Troy Mosier on

    Nice blog right here! Also your site loads up very fast! What web host are you the use of? Can I get your associate hyperlink for your host? I wish my website loaded up as quickly as yours lol|

  27. By Margie Mederos on

    You really make it seem so easy with your presentation but I find this matter to be really something that I think I would never understand. It seems too complex and extremely broad for me. I’m looking forward for your next post, I will try to get the hang of it!|

  28. Pingback: meritking

  29. Pingback: meritroyalbet

  30. Pingback: meritroyalbet

  31. Pingback: eurocasino

  32. By Laurinda Massar on

    Everyone loves what you guys are up too. This sort of clever work and coverage! Keep up the terrific works guys I’ve incorporated you guys to my personal blogroll.|

  33. By Art Pawelczyk on

    I know this if off topic but I’m looking into starting my own blog and was curious what all is needed to get setup? I’m assuming having a blog like yours would cost a pretty penny? I’m not very web savvy so I’m not 100 certain. Any recommendations or advice would be greatly appreciated. Cheers|

  34. By pornous on

    Porn, Untrammelled Porn Videos, Porno Shagging Tube & XXX Pornography. Non-stationary Porn Movies – Permitted Iphone Shafting, Android XXX. Released Porn Movies, Regular to bed Corpulent divide, XXX Porno Videos & Grown-up Porn
    free porn video