If you thought you loved your car just because you wash it more than once a month you have nothing on this guy.

Edward Smith is a 62-year-old car lover from Yelm, Washington who claims he has had sex with 1,000 cars. This makes him the most promiscuous mechaphile in the world. Probably not something to write home about.

Mechapiles are people who love cars a little bit too much, or feel an insatiable sexual attraction to cars. Smith claims he has never felt sexually attracted to women, not even consummating his relationship to his only girlfriend, 12 years ago.

Smith’s attraction started with his neighbour’s Volkswagen Beetle, which he lost his virginity to, and since then he’s taken numerous cars for a ‘test drive’. “Some guys look at boobs and bums on beautiful women. I look at the front and rear on beautiful cars,” he said.

“There have been certain cars that attracted me and I would wait until night time, creep up to them and just hug and kiss them,” he confesses. But you no longer have to worry about discovering your car being humped by a stranger as your wander home after that binger of a Friday night, as Smith is now in an ‘open relationship’ with a second-hand Volkswagen Beetle named Vanilla, an 1973 Opel GT called Cinnamon AND a 1193 Ford Ranger named Splash.

If these cars are jealous of one another, they don’t seem to be honking their horns in frustration.

“I will not deny that I look at other cars on TV or at shows and still get those old impulses and desires – but those were the early days,” he says. He’s admitted that, of all three of his ‘lovers’, his heart belongs to the Beetle. “Now I want to settle down with Vanilla. There’s something about her that I can’t fully express on an emotional level except it’s very powerful and very sincere.”

Guess that just leaves more humans for us to enjoy.
Published on Urban Society / 15 October, 2013